So I brought the kids to my work today.  They were actually pretty good and Keira even let a couple of people hold her.  Pushing my huge stroller around at work brought me back to the days of working in the mailroom pushing the mailcart.  It was nice to see everyone.  Its almost been a year to the day that I left work.  I think it was April 4 that I stopped going b/c of the contractions I was having. 

I cant believe it has been a year since the whole nightmare started (and by nightmare I mean bedrest, contractions, worrying about Cadence).  I also cant believe that I made it a year.  Those 10 weeks of bedrest where all I did was think and pray for my babies felt like it would never end.  I had drawn myself a little calander and would cross off each day, thankfull to be still pregnant another day.  In my soduku book, I would do one puzzle a day.  So on the puzzles that I would acheive another week in pregnancy, I would mark it in advance and try to reach those puzzles.  The heartburn from drinking water, the constant hunger and then feeling sick after eating, all that water I drank, the trips to the perinatologists office on a weekly basis where all I seemed to get was bad news, it all seems so far away.  I am so thankful that I had 3 babies in me b/c when I lost Cadence, I still had 2 babies to carry home.  But only I can say that to me,  please dont ever say to me, “at least you have Keira and Conor”.  In no way does it make up for the loss of Cadence. 

Now I find that the times her absence hits me most is when I hear of someone dying or when I watch a movie and someone passes away.  I used to be one of those people who may get teary eyed at a sad movie but now the tears gush and I get a big lump in my throat.  In the last week I watched Marley and Me and 7 pounds (in segments of course b/c I never have time to make it through a movie in one sitting!) and I couldnt believe how much I cried.  I cant wait for the kids to be older so I can talk to them about their sister.  I still pray every night for her to come into my dreams so that I can meet her.  And I also pray that my auntie Carole is with her. 

Conor and Keira are doing so well.  Conor is doing the commando crawl and is getting better at sitting.  He says “dub dub dub” all the time and is quick to smile when a camera comes out.  Keira squeals a lot.  I find it so cute.  She loves to be naked and gets upset when you put her sleeper back on.  She is just starting to pull herself on the floor and is very good at sitting.  Her hair is curly and I hope it stays that way.  It is getting a bit longer but I refuse to cut it yet.  I dress them up everyday now, even if we arent going out.  I used to only put them in sleepers for the convenience of it but now I love to dress them up. 

Having issues feeding them solids.  Keira’s food has to be very smooth, no lumps so she really only likes the fruit.  Conor refuses to eat baby food, he wants to be able to pick it up to eat it.  So I have trouble coordinating the cooking of this food w/ his eating time and just figuring out what to give him.  I also struggle to give them 3 meals a day.  So they still have a lot of bottles.  Hopefully I can figure this feeding thing out. 

Well I should get back to them.  No screaming yet but it is only an hour till bedtime.

Last Pediatrician checkup

Conor and Keira had their last appointments w/ the pediatrician on Thursday.  I find it hard knowing that we wont be seeing her again.  Its just so reassuring to see a specialist who knows all about my difficult pregnancy and everything that Conor and Keira have been through.  But on the other hand, it means that they are doing well and dont need specialized care.  Conor weighed 17 lbs 14 oz and Keira was 16 lbs 10 oz.  And they are both 66 cm long.  We got the ok to start solids.  So I have fed them rice cereal yesterday and today.  Yesterday I dont think they got any in them, today was better but Keira started to do the gag thing.  Tomorrow when we go to get their highchairs we are picking up the bottle nipples that you can feed thicker fluids through so they can at least finish their cereal. 

Im trying to get them both to nap in their crib.  Very difficult when most of the day there is only one of me.  So far it has been only one of them for one of their naps but its a start.  And we are moving their nighttime sleep to a later time.  I was putting them to bed at 7 but they were waking around 4 am so we are gradually putting it to 8.  We are at 715 right now and just 15 min later, they will sleep til 530. 

I had a bad day the other day missing Cadence.  I’ll just have to be a good Christian so that I can see her in Heaven when the time comes.  Im so thankful for all of the ultrasound pics I have of her. 

We took Trigger (our black 4 yr old lab) to the vet as she has been limping.  Turns out she has arthritis and some problems w/ her tendons that require surgery.  We are just waiting for a surgery date.  I expected them to have joint problems, just not this early in the game.  She is starting to get overwait as well.  I think its b/c we havnt been walking her as much due to the limping.  I imagine once the babies are eating more in their high chairs it will be hard to keep the dogs weight in check!

I’ll post some pics of kids eating once I get the photos on the computer.

A trip to the ER

So last night I had to take Conor to the ER.  Yesterday afternoon around 1, Conor, like always, had pulled a blanket over his head.  Shaun went to pull it off of his head and Conor just freaked out, like he was in pain.  He wouldnt open his eyes so we quickly figured something had touched his eyeball, we are thinking it was the ribbons on the blanket but who knows.  Anyway, he wouldnt let me put him down and kept crying.  His eye was swollen and red.  He is usually so calm and easygoing.  By 6 I phoned my mom and she said to take him to the ER to see if his eye had been scratched.

So off to the ER.  The waiting room was full of kids w/ bad colds and I was so scared Conor would catch one and end up w/ RSV (cold that can be deadly in babies, especially preemies).  I asked if there was somewhere else I could wait and they wouldnt move me until around 930 my blood sugar dropped and I thought I was going to either throw up or pass out (I hadnt eaten since 11 am).  They brought us to another room and gave me some cheese, crackers and apple juice (which was very nice of them).  I felt better being in there w/ Conor.  Finally at about 1045 dr saw us and of course nothing wrong w/ Conor’s eye.  I probably would have left earlier but his eye was still watering at that point.  So off to home..

now Im so tired!  I had been up since 4 am that morning.  So off to bed I go now.  I think its 7, kids are in bed thank goodness.  Im so tired of being tired but its worth it when I have two beautiful babies. 

We have appt w/ pediatrician this week which Im looking forward to.  Going to talk to her about feeding cereal.  Kids have been wanting to eat every 2 hrs so I think they need something else. 

Oh and Shauns dad is home from the hospital and doing well.

Goodnight!!

Sleep Deprived

So it just seems like life is getting more busy.  Im starting to feel burnt out and am definitly getting cabin fever!  Our snow finally got washed away so once it starts raining, I can start taking the kids for walks again.  Conor still hates his car seat so it makes walks not that great but at least I get outside! 

The other morning I walked into Keira’s room to find her lying on her tummy!  Ever since she keeps rolling onto her belly but hasnt figured out how to roll back so she gets quite frusterated.  Both of them really want to sit.  We put them in the bumbo seats daily but they arent big fans.  I have also started putting them in the exersaucer but they arent crazy about that either.  Im sure it will just take some getting used to. 

This morning was a bad one, sleep wise.  Conor woke at 3:40 for a feed, followed by Keira at 4:20.  I put her back in her crib after but she was talking so loud and wouldnt stop that I got up (so she wouldnt wake Shaun as well) and put her in her swing downstairs hopeing she would fall back asleep.  After listening to her scream (her new discovery) and talk for 10 more min, I finally put her in the bouncy seat beside the couch, turned on the tv and was able to sleep on the couch for at least 30 min.  Conor isnt so big on the talking.  He did it for about a week and then went back to his humming.  I think he will be the twin that leaves the talking to his sister.

Ive started the scrapbooks for each of the babies.  Creating Keepsakes had this great baby kit for sale that has all the journaling promps and tons of paper and stuff for a great price.  And then you do a page for each month of their first year.  Makes scrapbooking much easier when I dont have near as much time.  Only problem Im running into is my scanner.  I need to scan some pics of family members for the family tree and the glass on my scanner is dirty.  But on the inside.  I have tried to open it to clean it but no luck.  Its like someone cleaned it and left it streaky.  Maybe I’ll have to take it into a computer place to be done.  So annoying.

Shauns dad is still in the hospital so my mother in law hasnt been able to come over and help.  Im definitly missing her.  Plus its stressful having Shauns dad in poor health, though he is doing much better.

My parents come this weekend.  Mom is staying til Friday and my dad goes back on the Tuesday.  Ikea here I come, so annoying we dont have one on the island but good excuse to get away!  Have to get more shelving for my scrapbook room and some storage organizers for the kids toys.  SHaun and I are determined to not let the kids have too many toys (whatever happened to kids being creative w/ what toys they do have?) and be organized w/ the toys they do have.  Im already trying to figure out how I will teach my kids to pick up after themselves!

I did a little photoshoot w/ babies the other day.  Ive posted a couple of the pics.  Cant get Conor to smile at the camera.  As soon as I bring the camera up the smile disappears.  Need their dad around to get him to smile!  Conor is weighing around 19 lbs and Keira is almost 16 lbs.  My arm muscles have a lot of catching up to do!

 

So frusterating.  Cant really figure this photo thing out.  Trying to delete the pic of Keira posted the wrong direction and put the right one there but cant figure it out, so you’ll just have to turn your head sideways!

Merry Christmas!

Wow, havnt written in a while.  Am finding it hard to get time for myself lately.  Amazingly, both babies are sleeping right now.  They are getting to the stage where they want to be entertained and Im finding it difficult!!!

So its been a very stressful weekend for me.  On Sat Shaun and some of his buddies drove to Seattle for a football game.  No kidding, 5 min after they left my power went out and stayed out.  So I stuck it out for 90 min and decided we better head elsewhere.  It was snowing and I was going to need electricity to get bottles ready. So I phoned my friend Carrie (whose hubby happened to be w/ mine) and she said we could head on over.  So go to get my car out of the garage and oh yeah, no electricity.  Phoned Shaun and finally figured out how to open it.  Packed the kids in a panic and cautiously drove to Carries.  I was so afraid we would get stuck.  Im one of those people who always drives to work on snow days when everyone else stays home and gets a free day off.  I mean its only snow, but this is Victoria.  But its different when you have two babies and your by yourself! 

So got there safely and we ended up spending the night.  Babies didnt sleep too well, so neither did I.  Carrie made us pancakes in the am.  Her kids were great w/ the babies.  Her oldest Gwen took care of them while we dug my car out from, I would guess 20 cm of snow.  Almost got stuck getting out of her place but we got help from a neighbor.

Drove cautiously home.  Remember this is Victoria and we dont have many snow plows here.  Made it to the front of my house and had to park on the street as I couldnt make it up my driveway.  Luckily my mom had just arrived at my house.  She was here for a bus trip.  So while she took care of the babies, I shoveled the driveway.  Wasnt able to get moms car in, but it was a rental.

Our power had come back on at 230 am so the house was toasty and the dogs didnt even go to the bathroom in the house overnight!  I was so proud of them as they had been locked up for 15 hrs.  Had a very nice visit w/ mom.  Babies loved her and smiled as soon as they saw her.  She left yesterday (had to shovel her out as well) and Shaun got back safe and sound yesterday. 

Apparantly we are to get 10-20 cm more snow tonight.  We got 32 cm on Sunday.  I love the snow but it makes for horrible driving here. 

We are having Christmas dinner at Shauns brothers.  Unfortunatly his father is in the hospital so we wont be all together but we will make the best of it.   Well better go.  I hear Shaun shoveling the drive again.  At least it will be a white Christmas! 

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.

A visit to the Clinic

So today I took Conor and Keira to visit the fertility clinic that helped us have babies.  We saw Dr. Hudson, medical director of the clinic (who was also my obstetrician, the best on the island), Leigh (I think she is a nurse, we saw her a lot), Robert (the one who does the petre dish work) and a few other of the clinics employees.  It was so nice to see them all, especially Dr. Hudson.  He was an amazing doctor.  He would phone me in his off time when I was pregnant to make sure I was doing ok pregnancy wise and emotionally and would tell me to call if I ever needed to talk or had any questions.  I didnt really see him much the last few weeks of my pregnancy b/c it was such a high risk one, I saw Dr. Dansereau (the perinatologist) more at that time.  They said that my babies dont look like preemie babies at all.  Apparantly a lot of preemie babies can have funny shaped heads and mine dont!  Keira was smiling away and Conor just looked concerned. 

Im always shocked at what can stir my feelings about Cadence.  At the clinic Dr. Hudson asked their names, so I told him Conor, Keira and their sister was Cadence.  At the time it didnt bother me.  But when I got home and thought about it, I started to cry.  I always want to acknowledge her.  When people say, oh you have twins,  I want to say, actually I have triplets, their sister is in heaven.  But they always feel awkward then.  But that isnt really what stops me from mentioning the triplets.  Its the fact that I dont want people thinking that Im asking for more attention or pity over my little angel.  I dont know if I should even care about what people think.  I do have triplets, I am a mother of triplets, and Conor and Keira arent twins, they are triplets w/ Cadence.  It really makes me feel guilty to not mention her when I talk about my babies.

So Keira has learned to go from lying on her back to lying on her side!  Only a matter of time before she flips to her belly.  Thank goodness she is ok at lifting her head at tummy time.  Conor on the other hand is not!  But he doesnt seem to be anywhere close to rolling over.  When he does tummy time he gets really frusterated and seems to try and use his back to lift his head rather than push up on his arms.  I have tried every position, having him lie on me, on the ground, on his nursing pillow, on a rolled up blanket,  and always the same result.  But if you put him in a sitting position, he can sit on his own, though I wouldnt dare leave him b/c he is still pretty wobbly. 

Conor doesnt like to nap but Keira does.  She gets so cranky.  Conor will sleep a day away every 3 or 4 days and then is good for the next few.  Sleeping in the crib for Keira isnt going so great.   Last night she woke at 9 w/ a stuffy nose so I knew that she had reflex.  I put her in the swing for the night.  But I will try again tonight.  Might try raising her mattress an inch again.

Chelsey Roberts and her daughter Eva were here yesterday to see the babies.  Conor and Keira have changed so much since she took the photos of them.  Eva has grown so much as well.  Its amazing how quickly kids change when you dont see them for 4 or 5 months.  Unfortunatly my cat Sparty wasnt too keen on being pet and he swiped at Eva.  Guess Im gonna have to smarten him up before my kids want to start petting him!

I got to go out w/ some girlfriends from church on Tuesday night.  I was a bit nervous leaving the babies at home w/ Shaun as he hasnt had to put them to bed by himself yet and it isnt always easy.  But he did a great job and the babies were really good for him!  THank goodness, now I have a better chance of getting to go out again!  It was fun being out and hopefully we do it again soon.  You dont always get to have good chats at church. 

Below are a few pics I took w/ Chelsey’s lense (I really really want to get this lense!!)

Kids are teething!

So we have started the next phase of teething.  Keira was the first to start fussing about it.  It comes and goes for her.  One day is bad, the next not so bad.  Conor has been real fussy the last 3 days.  Infant development recommended Camilia so I tried it and it works!!!  And right away.  Its all natural and doesnt numb their gag reflex but I still only give it once a day if needed. 

Keira is finally sleeping in her crib.  Since we moved here, she has been sleeping in our room in her swing.  I was worried when I moved her back to the crib she would wake every 3 hours but she is still on her regular schedule, usually 2 am and then up at 7.  Im getting enough sleep that I dont feel the need to nap. 

They are getting so big.  We saw Dr Bolaria (their pediatrician) this week and Conor weighed 14 lbs, 1 oz and Keira was 12 lbs 7 oz.  Unfortunatly we have been advised not to take them to play groups or church or other places where there are a lot of people around due to the fact that they are at risk for RSV.  So hopefully Shaun will be able to handle them at least every second sunday so I can go to church.  Come spring time, we can bring them out more.  Its hard out in public w/ them b/c everyone touches their hands and w/ school back in, most kids seem to have a cold.  So if we see you, please dont be insulted if I ask you to wash your hands or use hand disinfectant before touching my kids.  I dont think I have ever washed my hands so much in my life! 

My best friend Richelle Grocott was here for the week.  It was nice to have her here.  She skipped on the diaper duty and nighttime feedings but was a big help during the day.  Funny thing is, I never even though to ask her to change a diaper.  I guess I just do it w/out thinking.  Not so bad when its your own kid, though Im not sure I’ll be singing the same tune when they start solids. 

Infant development says that they are physically at the age of 3 mos (their corrected age) but socially are like a 5 month (their acutal age).  And there has been nothing to indicate that Keira was affected by the loss of her sister.  I am so thankful for them and that they are doing so well despite everything they went through!

Being a parent is so hard!!  Especially when daylight savings takes effect.  Tonight Conor was in bed at 630 and Keira at 6.  This means at the latest a 5 am wake up for me and I wont be able to fall asleep till later.  I have found that I am a very grumpy person when I dont get my needed sleep.  Thank goodness for a forgiving husband though Im sure this is taking its toll on him. 

On Sunday Conor and Keira were dedicated at church.  They behaved themselves pretty good.  They put together a slide show of all the babies being dedicated (there were 7 I think) and I got all choked up when they put up the shot of Conor an hour after he was born, hooked up to everything to keep him alive.  Its hard to believe all that they have gone through.  They are my miracles and Im so thankful for them.  I just wish Cadence could be here with us as well.  I do still have my moments missing her and hope that I always will.  The other day on Oprah there was a video of a baby boy who’s birth was a miracle and it was a matter of days before he passed on.  The parents video tapped every day of his life and he lived for 99 days.  They celebrated every day that he lived.  It was so touching and really made me think of Cadence.  I wish so much that I would have gotten the chance to meet her, even if it was for only an hour.  I think it would have been harder to lose her after meeting her but at least I would have looked into her eyes and told her I loved her.  Im so thankful for a Heavenly Father who has welcomed her into Heaven and that I will get to meet her again one day. 

Keira is either sleeping, eating or crying it seems w/ a short time of smiling.  Sometimes I wonder if she is lonely for her sister but I think most of the time her tummy is hurting her.  I can settle her down as long as I stand w/ her and put pressure on her belly but she is getting heavy!  She weighed in at 12 lbs 3 oz when she went to get her immunization shots last week.  I dont have a weight for Conor but Im sure he is close to 13 lbs.  Conor smiled at himself in the mirror for the first time today.  His smile just makes my life that much better.  He is so easy to make happy now.  Him and Keira did a complete switch and he is now the easy one.  Keira is so cute when she talks to you.  It is such a gentle talk.  I cant wait till they can say words.

Moved in

So we moved into our new house on Wed.  What a fiasco!  Our appliances, and internet, and tv were supposed to all be set up for Wed but appliances didnt come till Fri (I luckily had a cooler for the babies milk and our coffee pot makes really hot water!), tv wasnt till Sat (I surprised Shaun lasted that long w/out it) and the internet was today.  But we are pretty settled now.  I love it!  It has 5 bedrooms, 3 1/2 baths, a huge kitchen, family room, living room, huge dining area.  I will post some pics once I get my camera out. 

Unfortunatly, we did lose Jasmine, our cat.  The night before the move the cats were locked inside the house but one of our helpers opened up the nursery window cause he was hot.  Shaun and I never open that window as it doesnt have a screen so never thought to check it.  On moving day, we were in the backyard and heard some scratching noise and there was Jasmine jumping out the second floor window.  Once she is outside there is no catching her, she is very skitish and only lets you pet her when you are lying in bed.  Anyway, we approaced the new owners and they will help us get her back.  She goes in to their house every night so when they get phone services, they will phone us when she is in. 

Conor actually slept 8 hours the night of the move.  Hasnt done it since of course.  But he is smiling now and I love it.  Both of them just love to stare at you.  It is so sweet.  I am so thankful for both of them.  WEll I should go.  I think both are asleep and Im going to try and nap as well!!