A visit to the Clinic

So today I took Conor and Keira to visit the fertility clinic that helped us have babies.  We saw Dr. Hudson, medical director of the clinic (who was also my obstetrician, the best on the island), Leigh (I think she is a nurse, we saw her a lot), Robert (the one who does the petre dish work) and a few other of the clinics employees.  It was so nice to see them all, especially Dr. Hudson.  He was an amazing doctor.  He would phone me in his off time when I was pregnant to make sure I was doing ok pregnancy wise and emotionally and would tell me to call if I ever needed to talk or had any questions.  I didnt really see him much the last few weeks of my pregnancy b/c it was such a high risk one, I saw Dr. Dansereau (the perinatologist) more at that time.  They said that my babies dont look like preemie babies at all.  Apparantly a lot of preemie babies can have funny shaped heads and mine dont!  Keira was smiling away and Conor just looked concerned. 

Im always shocked at what can stir my feelings about Cadence.  At the clinic Dr. Hudson asked their names, so I told him Conor, Keira and their sister was Cadence.  At the time it didnt bother me.  But when I got home and thought about it, I started to cry.  I always want to acknowledge her.  When people say, oh you have twins,  I want to say, actually I have triplets, their sister is in heaven.  But they always feel awkward then.  But that isnt really what stops me from mentioning the triplets.  Its the fact that I dont want people thinking that Im asking for more attention or pity over my little angel.  I dont know if I should even care about what people think.  I do have triplets, I am a mother of triplets, and Conor and Keira arent twins, they are triplets w/ Cadence.  It really makes me feel guilty to not mention her when I talk about my babies.